“Always Reforming” is a popular statement and sentiment within the reformed crowd. What does it mean?

We learn about that gospel and the life of that new humanity produced by that gospel in the Bible. Always reforming means always returning to the Scriptures to be changed and improved. It is a passion to know, love, and live out the Word of God. -Robert Godfrey

The definition of deconstruct is:

1: to examine (something, such as a work of literature) using the methods of deconstruction

2: to take apart or examine (something) in order to reveal the basis or composition, often with the intention of exposing biases, flaws, or inconsistencies

3: to adapt or separate the elements for use in an ironic or radically new way

4: destroy, demolish

Deconstructing has a negative connotation, and it scares people to hear it. I think because the definition varies so widely, many people don’t know what you mean or think the worst; they think you mean you are walking away from Christ and your faith. So, let me explain what I mean when I say ‘deconstruct’: I look at my beliefs as building blocks, taking each one and examining it. Then, I either put it back, rethink or modify the way I previously believed something, or discard it altogether. That’s what I have done with church and church culture (and continue to do). I have looked at the things I previously believed, held them up to scripture, and maybe a new (to me) or different context, and kept some things and thrown others out.

I’m going to argue, based on the large amount of pushback on the word “deconstruct” and the fact that I’ve been part of a reformed denomination for most of my Christian walk, that other reformed people (pastors and elders specifically) do not actually believe in Semper Reformanda or “Always Reforming.” They only believe this if it’s one of their pet issues, like being more Complementarian, Sabbatarian, or (now) “patriotic.”

When it comes to examining scripture and understanding it in a different light or context than they previously believed, they won’t even broach the subject unless “insert celebrity pastor here” is already discussing it. And for some reason, any new conclusions (reforming) they come to always seem to benefit themselves (the male pastors, elders, and leaders). Please show me where this isn’t true.

People refer to their group manual to determine which words are most suitable to use. If you’re on the more conservative Christian side, “reforming” or “disentangling” is what many choose to use. If you’re on the more progressive Christian side, “deconstructing” is what often seems to be used. I’m using the word ‘deconstruct’ because its definition best encompasses what my experience has been. And, as I mentioned above, I haven’t seen many people reforming.

I don’t care if you call it reforming, deconstructing, disentangling, or something else. It means the same thing. I’m not afraid to test what I’ve been taught against scripture, even about things as “sacred” as church polity. I’m not blowing something up or burning it down, but examining carefully what I’ve been told to believe, have believed, and do believe in an effort to get to the truth, as well as I can know it.

I have not deconstructed and become progressive, like many seem to do. I still hold to the truth, namely, Jesus, and facts. I listen more to the progressives, though, and I appreciate their attitude and tenderness towards those whom the church has harmed. They seem to realize clearly that those they once trusted (clergy and church leadership) are capable of committing heinous acts in the name of Christ, and are rarely, if ever, held accountable for them.

They see that a system that has been corrupted has taken over or replaced what the church actually is, causing great harm to those inside and outside the church. They know that it’s not what it’s supposed to be. They know people need to be held accountable. And they know that individuals need love, support, and community, which they seem to offer easily. However, they have their talking points as well. Just like the far-right conservatives do.

I don’t believe the progressive narrative that love equates to the acceptance of all behaviors. I’ve heard progressive people say that if I don’t accept a particular behavior, then I’m not being loving. I’m left to wonder if they only apply this logic to specific subjects and certain people. I agree that many who claim to be conservative Christians do not act lovingly and often are harsh and mean (There were two books published in the last year calling empathy toxic and sinful by far-right conservatives). But I don’t think that means we have to go to the extreme opposite and say that to be loving means accepting any behaviors. (1 Corinthians 13 explains what love is.)

We love people in spite of their behavior, and people love us in spite of ours. While progressives seem loving, gentle, and kind to most people, they also, just like the far-right conservatives, aren’t as gentle and kind to those who don’t agree with them on particular points. Like conservatives, they have talking points that ostracize fellow brothers and sisters in Christ based on their own preferences, not necessarily based on Christian or biblical beliefs. They use similar language when it suits them, just as those they oppose do.

For some reason, most progressives that I’ve read or listened to seem to think that the government, the mainstream media (aka, news), and doctors all have their best interests at heart. I understand that it seems like some secular organizations have more transparency than the church has had (which is true in some cases), but that does not mean that whatever they say is true, and that you don’t have to look into things for yourself, because of “science” and “experts.” I wouldn’t address this issue if it did not come up so frequently in podcasts I listen to and commentary I read. It’s the progressive talking point: Anyone who questions the “experts” (especially anti-vaxxers) is against “science.” (I honestly don’t know how they manage to bring the subject up so frequently.)

Just because I’ve deconstructed what I believe the church to be and even some actions and attitudes that have been deemed “Christian” or “biblical” by many in the church, I do not have amnesia regarding facts. I have been an ex-vaxxer for about 18 years now. I came to this conclusion based on my own research from the library, books, medical journals, reading the inserts and ingredients from different vaccines (which include human and animal DNA), and the 1986 National Childhood Vaccine Injury Act that removed liability from vaccine manufacturers while placing limited liability (for vaccines) on the government with our tax dollars.

I didn’t read a mommy blog and become persuaded. I saw the evidence. I know people personally who have been affected immediately after taking a vaccine and other various medications. I have personally dealt with doctors who have treated me like an idiot, messed up medications, caused pain and suffering because of negligence or ignorance (the doctor who delivered my oldest son has since lost his license for medical malpractice). Not to mention, you can consult two different doctors and receive two different diagnoses for the same problem.

To be fair, most of the conservative Christians I know are pro-vaccine, too. They don’t seem to question the “experts” either. That was until about four years ago, when many people started questioning the narrative surrounding certain vaccines.

Getting to my point…

Science is a method of observation, not necessarily a conclusion. That’s why science changes all the time. “Science” also conveniently changes depending on who’s paying for the research and what outcome they want to have. Ever heard of sugar? Or the war on fat? So, it really rubs me the wrong way when Christians start talking about other Christians and say that they don’t believe in things like science, when the truth is that some Christians don’t believe in the conclusions from different scientific studies, and for good reason.

I’m not telling you all this to persuade you to my view on vaccines or any other matter. Still, I’m asking you to address these different issues with the same reasoning you address the church issues: wanting facts, asking questions, and seeking justice, while recognizing that government bureaucracies, pharmaceutical companies, and mainstream media all have their own agendas. All these systems are just as corrupt as the church “system” because sinful people are involved.

So, I have not deconstructed and become a “progressive” Christian. But I can also say that since I’ve deconstructed, I no longer consider myself an “evangelical” or “conservative” Christian either (I’ve never considered myself far-right). I am a follower of Christ before any and all political parties. And I will not willfully compromise the truth of Jesus or the gospel for anything or anyone.

I believe in personal responsibility, agency, and autonomy (although as Christians we belong to Christ). I never want anyone to violate their own conscience, and I don’t want anyone to ask me to violate mine. We are free to make different choices, even in Jesus. God has placed us individually in different times, places, and positions, giving us certain gifts and particular burdens. As a result, we won’t all be exactly the same, even in our convictions.

So, let’s extend the freedom that Christ has given each of us. Let’s find a middle ground that appreciates differences and loves all people, especially our brothers and sisters in Christ, without binding the consciences of others, and loving people where they are, just like God did for us through Jesus.

And as each of us “work out our salvation with fear and trembling,” let’s not be hasty in our judgment of what another believer’s relationship with Jesus looks like, just because it doesn’t look the way we think it should, and they aren’t performing to our standards.

Therefore, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not only in my presence, but now even more in my absence, continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling. For it is God who works in you to will and to act on behalf of His good purpose.

Philippians 2:12-13

-LeDawn